Hey, You Kavita!
I shouted (conjuring up a vision of the damsel). But nothing happened.
Perhaps she is a little hard of hearing; too much wax in the ear or something – who knows? (கவிதாவுக்கு காது கொஞ்சம் கேட்காதோ?)
This time I went fortissimo. YOU KAVITA ! Can you hear me?
Nothing happened.
I began to wonder. Perhaps her name is not Kavitha at all. Should I try Kalaivani. Let’s go: Kalaivani!
Hmm….hm. No dice!
I went through all the girl names I knew – except my wife’s. This is dangerous ground, mind you I said “all the girl names I knew” not “the names of all the girls I knew”! A crucial distinction, one that can determine – if not the difference between life and death – at least my well being or otherwise for the next fortnight or two!
It is all very well for Shakespeare, ca 1600 to blithely write “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” but to be sure he was reckoning without my wife AD 2021.
Thus it was that I patiently tried all the names known to me from Kavita to Kamakshi………..and from Marianne to Mari-amma (you should know by now that I’m awfully adept at alliteration); I should hasten to add that the last named person does not figure in my contact list, lest you begin to entertain rather unsavoury thoughts about my taste in these matters!
This business went on for all of five minutes. I shut the door; it was not easy to do fortissimo in the bedroom and keep it pianissimo in the kitchen. My wife’s hearing – among several other things – is totally unimpaired (unlike Kavita’s) ! In the interest of domestic tranquility I had to be careful.
But the room was still dark.
In desperation, I even tried Yohani, the latest internet sensation – to no avail.
It was then that I remembered. From the depths of my mind I was informed that there were some letters of the alphabet I hadn’t tried – like L and X for instance. A bulb lit up in my head.
Hey, Dyslexia!
I shouted with all the excitement of Archimedes yelling Eureka as he jumped out of the bath-tub and ran on to the street – utterly unmindful of his sartorial splendour!
The little round device sitting on the peg stool lighted up.
You dumbo ! My name is Alexa!
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