You can have six children, five friends, four cats and three dogs and enjoy them all, but two wives? Can that be a blessing? The answer has to be a resounding NO, going by the experience of non-monogamists down the ages!
Yet many men derive great delight in being described as being married to their work, music, game or whatever. If the wife is listening in, all that she can manage is a wan smile and wistfulness. And the thoughtless macho man swells with pride and is blissfully unmindful of the havoc he is causing in his own household by his misplaced priorities.
But we are concerned here primarily with the situation of having more than one partner in bed. And sad to say our patriarch Abraham himself was caught on the wrong foot in this department. After his ignominious exit from Egypt, where he was all but castigated and driven out by King Abimelech, you’d think that our man would have learned to put greater trust in the words of God.
Alas, here we see him failing a second time. When presented with the sensual, he succumbs without the ballast of thought; much less foresight. The consequences are terrible for all time to come. Let us read the story in Genesis 16:
Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; 2 so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”
Abram agreed to what Sarai said. 3 So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. 4 He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.
When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me.”
6 “Your slave is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.” Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her.
When the Lord makes a promise you’d better take it seriously. This is where Sarai erred. In her human balance, her husband’s age, her age, and her post menopausal status together weighed heavily in comparison with the word of God. But the Word of God is not only powerful but is also a “discerned of the thoughts and intents of the heart”. And Sarai failed miserably and dragged Abram down with her.
Whether our man was mainly concerned with the apparently noble thought of assisting God in carrying out a seemingly impossible task or if he was titillated by the “delicious” thought of an extra-marital relationship is a moot point. What is remarkable however, it was Sarai herself who is suggesting the arrangement and offering a guilt-free pass!
What we know is that there was no protest from our man. He agreed – simply.
Abram should have known better. The Lord had already told him in that he would have a son of his own and it is strange that Abram should have thought that God cannot accomplish that within the sanctity of his marriage with Sarai. Yet, he seems to have been swayed easily at the prospect of sex with another woman.
Look at the Middle-East. It is a powder keg. (to think it is the direct consequence of one man’s folly!)
But we can look at it from a different angle.
Abram 99, Sarai 90!
If this were a game of cricket and the numbers stood for runs by the batters, it would send the batting team into raptures! But alas in this case, there was nothing to show for the over quarter century of married life! There was no dearth of promises though. God however is not concerned with age. He makes a fresh round of promises to Abram, and all but begins his life anew – with a new name and covenant relationship!
All Abraham had to do was to obey the terms of the covenant. He will have a son through his renamed wife Sarah!
God’s concern is for your obedience, He knows your age!
And He knows your mistakes too! The Bible says in Genesis 17:
15 God also said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. 16 I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.”
17 Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” 18 And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!”
19 Then God said, “Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac.[d] I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him. 20 And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation. 21 But my covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you by this time next year.”
I wonder if we have the faith to echo Russel Carter’s lyrics in the song:
Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.
In Genesis 17 we read:
17 Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old?
Chapter 18 gives the account of renewed promise by the Lord’s agents:
10 Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”
Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing
12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”
13 Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”
15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.”
But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”
Yeah, Sarah got caught whilst Abraham was let off, though both of them were equally guilty of distrust. The feminists have a problem with this disparate treatment; I don’t know if the issue with Sarah was that she lied. Let it pass.
We may well welcome God into our heart but do we prayerfully pay heed to His promises concerning our life?
When God speaks a promise, don’t laugh – even to yourself!
Shall we move on…..to the first book of Samuel:
There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite.2 He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none.1 Sam.1 :1-2
Elkanah’s problem begins right in verse 2: He had two wives
Why he had to have two, I can only guess. Maybe he married Hannah first and seeing she bore him no children, went for Peninnah who produced the desired result.
Hagar redux!
And when there are indeed two women as wives and only one of them has children, the situation gets extremely complicated. These are precisely the kind of problems that were racking the home of the Ephraimite. It is foolish to attempt riding two horses at the same time!
Chapter 1 goes on:
6 Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”
With wifely wars waging daily, Elkanah couldn’t have been a happy man!
I have heard it said that Jacob was having a lousy family life, like most patriarchs! The problem in his case also was the number of wives: two legitimate + two others. Quite a handful! The favourite son of his mother Rebekah, in time has a favourite wife – Rachel – and a favourite son – Joseph – her first born. Talk about history repeating itself!
Having quite literally hazaar (1000) women to sleep with (He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines 1 Kings 11:3) , was certainly not a blessing, either to king Solomon or to the wives and concubines involved. If he proceeds seriatim daily, woman no.1 would have to cool her heels in the harem for 2.7 years! There was plenty of company of course – 999 to be precise – as she bathed herself in Chanel No.5 and sundry other perfumes and generally spent her time twiddling her thumbs!
King Solomon meanwhile was being drawn away by his wives who led him astray from Jehovah to Ashtoreth, Milcom, Chemoth, Molech and several other deities worshiped by his women.
“ Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one” Deut. 6:4
“a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”. Gen.2:24 That people, is how God ordained it.
A rather an implausible scenario with more than wife, what?
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Very succintly put
Thank you, Suresh
Uncle this thought is wonderful. My question is.. what if the only wife I’m married to become a headache ? What if the life partner become a lifetime pain don’t we need to get away from such hateful relationships that no more serve the purpose??
The issue is about riding two horses at the same time!
Stupendous thoughts penned so clearly.Gods concern is about your obedience not your age.
When God speaks don’t laugh even to yourself.Very much applicable to all of us.
One man many wives always leads to multiple problems bcas we go against the law of creation.
Adam and Eve.
Whenever we break Gods law with human wisdom it leads toeternal problems for ages.
Thanks, Sujatha