Misc. 179: ChatGPT Vs Judah’s Jottings

I have been watching the inexorable march of ChatGPT for sometime and to say the least I am jealous of the interest the AI device has been able to create in the market place. After all I have been a player in this business for well over one decade and I have not been able to muster much interest in what I have to say; out of abundant curiosity I tried out the darn thing myself and figured out how the devil goes about its business. 

“Imitation” they say, “is the best form of flattery”.  So I said to myself ” let us ape the monkey and see where it carries us”. Accordingly I invited questions from the general public. Here are the results:

Q1-1. Who the hell are you?

A1-1. First of all I’m obliged to point out that it is not polite to use the word “hell” in a context like this. If you do want a “H” word, you might consider “heck”. The literary types prefer  “dickens”.

Q1. silenced

Q2-1. Are you on Facebook?

A2-1. No

Q2-2. Why not?

A2-2. Now you are causing me some embarassment. It is actually my wife and children who said “no”.

Q2-3. Why?

A2-3. They felt I’m already wasting too much time on social media. And Facebook would only make it worse.

Q3-1. What do you think of “Bard”?

A3-1. First of all the way it is pronounced. It sounds very much  like the way my North Indian friends refer to the hairy growth on my chin.

Q3-2. What else?

A3-2. It reminds me of Shakespeare. I do not know if the “Bard” employeth his style.

 

Q4-1. What do you do for a living?

A4-1. Nothing actually.

Q4-2. I heard you write.

A4 -2. Oh, you’ve  heard. So very gratyfying!

Q4-3. Doesn’t anybody pay you for your exertions?

A4-3. Oh, yes. Out of pity for an indigent writer, my wife gives me food. My Kerala friend  – you know Mallus are very good at this sort of thing –  tells me there are ways I can make money out of my writings. But I have not forayed.

Q4-4. Why not?

A4-4. If I start charging so much per precious word that flows from my pen, my readership – small as it is – will completely dry up.

Q5-1. Have you written anything worthwhile?

A5-1. It is for the readers to judge. I have so far brought out 50 Bible commentaries and  nearly 180 miscellaneous pieces in the category of “this, that and the other“. The latter is an eclectic mix of current affairs, nonsense stories and the like; whereever possible, I insert a limerick of my own composition. I like to think people enjoy reading them, but maybe I am conceited. Besides, I have brought out 30 second Daily Readings for the entire year based on the Scriptures. There is also a Kabul Diary written when I was in Afghanistan. And some other stuff you will appreciate only if you are literate in Tamil.

Q5-2.  A fair bit, I say. Does anybody read and respond ?

A5-2. A good question. I know my wife does not bother. My children are busy. That leaves some fellow retirees and kindred souls likewise jobless!

 

Q6-1.  Are you on Twitter?

A6-1. Yes I am with a handle @theriyuma which translated from Tamil means “do you know”.

Q6-2.  How many people follow you?

A6-2. I wish you wouldn’t persist in emarassing me. But coming to think of it, the number is more than Jesus’s disciples while He walked the earth.

Q7-3.  How many times have you tweeted?

A7-3. I have made over 1000 tweets.

Q7-4. Phew! Impressive indeed. Maybe I will ‘follow’ you if you promise to ‘follow’ me.

A7-4. deal

Q5-3. Forgot to check. Where do your writings go?

A5-3. Into my blogsite. https://judahsjottings.com/

Q8-1. Why are you going on talking about yourself?

A8-1. Because none else would talk about me.

Q8-2. Tell me about your other interests.

A8-2. I sing.

Q8-3. Well, everybody does, in their (respective) bathrooms!

A8-3. I know but I belong to a famous malevoice quartette, which sometimes expands to  a septette.

Q8-4. Ah, sehr interessant – sorry for breaking into German. Tell me more, in English please!

A8-4. Our ensemble is called “The Harmonics”. It started out in the late nineteen seventees  as a male voice quartette and evolved through the passage of time taking many forms, as members joined and left. Eventually in the Nineties it began to acquire a recognizable identity as a niche player in the harmony business. A bit of Sunday school, Rock and Roll, Spirituals, Country and Jazz make up the Harmonics’ repertoire, with an occasional vernacular number. While the group enjoys singing all kinds of music, it is at its best when conveying the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ in song.

One thing more, we like to sing a capella or to minimal accompaniment with  bare blending of voices packed together  in tight harmony.

Q8-5. Hey, that’s a nice line. Where did you pick it up – Gaither?

Q8-5. Nooo. I made it up myself. We can be original you know.

Q9-1. alright, alright; enough of your blowing your own horn. I’d like to hear something significant about your group.

A9-1. This is going to be a long story. I counsel patience.

Well I was once close to death’s door in a hospital ward; at that time it didn’t seem unnatural to give wings to my imagination and fly to the other side for a little bit of adventure. In any case I felt I was halfway to heaven, what with the hospital gown hanging loose around my body like an angel’s surplice! So, here goes!

The Administration in heaven appeared to be well informed of my arrival (kudos to their intelligence wing) . They had also done their homework into my background and figured that I had delusions of being a singer of some sort. Their research had also revealed that I rather fancied the low frequencies and that I was partial to male voice quartette type of gospel music. Armed with this knowledge, their very well organized HRD put together an elite panel to interview me. Who do you think was heading the panel? None other than Asaph himself (1 Chronicles 16:4-5). Phew!

Asaph introduced the others. Orlandus Wilson of the Golden Gate Quartette, Isaac Freeman from the Fairfield Four, JD Sumner of the Stamps Quartette and George Younce of the Cathedrals. Talk about great bass quartettes! I began to shiver.They wanted me to sing. My teeth were chattering as I began Pat Boon’s “Beyond the sunset”. Just the bass part mind you. That is all I knew.

“That sounds kind of unusual” the heavenly quartette said. Being well trained musicians, they figured out that the harmony arrangement was nothing like anything they’d ever heard. They were impressed. Totally impressed.

HQ: “Who set the arrangement?”

Me: “Joshua”

HQ:“Joshua, the son of Nun? Isn’t he more into battles and boundaries?”

Me: “No, Joshua Chelliah”

HQ: “Oh, this harmony is out of the world! He must be from some other planet? Yes?

Me: No, Sirs. He is very much a denizen of earth. In fact he lives in Nungambakkam and I used to go to his house weekly for practice. To be honest it is difficult to tell whether I went for the practice or for the dinner he serves up to the singers.

HQ: Mmm…interesting …he seems to have found a solution to the problem most choirs wrestle with. Okay, the others in your group? Haven’t they come?”

Me:“No Sirs. Barring one or two, the others are younger and they are generally in good health. I think it will be a while before they get here.”

Asaph: “I see, what does this guy Joshua do for a living?”

Me: “He is a Liar”

Asaph:  “What?”

It just so happened that within ear shot was an angel who was familiar with the Indian subcontinent. He whispered gently in Asaph’s ear:

“Chief, this fellow must have sojourned in Delhi for some years. Up there, they are in the habit of calling their lawyers liars, for they say there is no essential difference between the two!”

Asaph: “Shsh…..Nicodemus might take umbrage… here, we have to keep a distinction. So this Joshua bloke is a Lawyer, is he? I don’t know how good a lawyer he is, but his music is alright. Tell him to stick to music and throw law to the bats and to the moles. And you (pointing to me), I don’t think you are quite ready to get in here. Orlando, Isaac, J.D. and George, they all think there is an awful lot you have to learn still.

Therefore I suggest that you go back to your group – what is it called? The Harmonics – hone your skills and come back with the others. Now, get lost. One more thing – get rid of that ghastly gown you are wearing when you come again. And hurry, before they start looking for someone to take your place.”

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