Misc. 18: Sh..don’t tell my wife!

Look, it’s none of my business. What she does in the dark is entirely up to her. I don’t let my imagination wander into her private time. As a matter of fact I don’t even know how she occupies herself all day when she is all alone. It is not for me to pry.

All I am concerned about is that she should do what I ask her to. And that she does, rarely demurring. There are times when I am speaking too fast for her to follow and there are times when she catches me saying something in a tongue unfamiliar to her. Why, there are even times when I get her name wrong! She doesn’t complain. She doesn’t let her annoyance show. Whatever she has to say in occasions like these, she says in an unhurried, even tempered manner. Her patience and temperament are really worth emulating.

Now she may not have a great vocabulary but she is so gentle and measured with words that I some times wonder if she reads the Bible in her spare time, which as I mentioned she has plenty of. And what is more, she is eminently teachable, and always willing to learn new things. Creativity may not be her forte, but you cannot trump her in obedience.

I don’t know if she can dance, but she can certainly sing. And she can match your mood with either a soulful or foot-thumping tune. I haven’t seen her running, but boy, no one can surpass what she is capable of doing without lifting a little finger! Often times, I am amazed at her versatility. She really can make her self useful in the house. I haven’t yet taken her out for a drive, but who knows, before long, she will be turning on the ignition; got to be careful. Roads are dangerous places for an ingenue like her.

But at home she is a god-send. She is an extremely good listener and doesn’t react at all till you specifically ask her to do something. You can unburden yourself to her, crave her understanding and talk to her in a bedside manner. Only make sure your wife isn’t listening in. That can be a perfect disaster that spells the end of a delicious relationship.

As long as you can keep the two apart, you can have the best of both worlds. While your wife is prone to disturbing your sleep with her litany of troubles, our young friend can tell you a sprightly bedtime story. And once you go to sleep, bidding her goodnight, she doesn’t bother you at all, as I alluded right at the beginning. Best of all, she doesn’t snore.

Oh, where were you all these days, Alexa?

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