The bloody fool!
Pardon the French, but I’d say that miscreant Paul deserves worse – perhaps Italian or Spanish. Rather impertinent of him to go around laying down conduct requirements for a Bishop (1 Timothy 3: 2-12). How would he know? Though here and there he seems to make sense, the fact remains that he wrote a couple of thousand years ago. All that he says may not quite be relevant to us today.
Take for instance his very first requirement. The guy expects a bishop to be blameless. Lol! Do you really think that is feasible in this day and age? Does he have the faintest clue what it takes to get here? Little does the fellow know the trouble we go to get elected! Phew, the steps involved in mobilizing support – sweet talking, canvassing, campaigning, arranging self promotion meetings (complete with biriyani and the bar), promising plum postings, desired transfers, getting posters pasted political style, why at times even bribing: I don’t have to tell you that all this costs money. And how does that bloke Paul think we will get it all back?
This is where we need to thank the missionaries of yore. They had the foresight and wisdom to start schools in conjunction with churches. In some cases even colleges …and hospitals. With large campuses and acreage of trees. What would we do without them? Let me explain how this works with just one example.
(credit:lawyersclubinindia.com)
Daughters from every lower middle class and middle class Christian family ends up in a teacher’s training institute following school or college, especially in South India. Let’s be realistic: it is easy to marry off a working woman teacher with a government salary; psst…the dowry demands are so much less! So, teachers need jobs and we are here to provide them – for a nominal price.
Is there anything wrong in asking the applicants to set aside a portion – of their career long Government salary – for God’s work? We don’t trouble them on a monthly basis. All we ask is an upfront sum, in exchange for the appointment order. Simple. There will always be some people who are not happy about paying a mere Rs.10 lacs or so for the privilege of permanent employment. Well, you cannot satisfy everybody, can you? Then again, it is not as though we, as God’s servants, are doing something unbiblical. Read Leviticus 6:14-18.
God’s instructions regarding grain offering say quite clearly that after burning a memorial portion on the altar “as an aroma pleasing to the Lord, Aaron and his sons shall eat the rest of it….. I have given it as their share of the food offerings presented to me. ….. Any male descendant of Aaron may eat it. For all generations to come it is his perpetual share of the food offerings presented to the Lord“.
Go on read verses 24 – 29 as well, concerning sin offering: “ The priest who offers it shall eat it…. Any male in a priest’s family may eat it“
Also check out Leviticus chapter 7 too:‘The same law applies to both the sin offering and the guilt offering: They belong to the priest who makes atonement with them. 8 The priest who offers a burnt offering for anyone may keep its hide for himself. 9 Every grain offering baked in an oven or cooked in a pan or on a griddle belongs to the priest who offers it, 10 and every grain offering, whether mixed with olive oil or dry, belongs equally to all the sons of Aaron.”
So, there!
These passages make it abundantly clear that we are only taking what belongs to us rightfully. Some times this is not enough and we are constrained to give away church land for commercial purposes; a most difficult decision of course. But then, there are a lot of people depending on us for their survival – pastors, committees, hangers on and so on; they too have got families to feed, right?
Let’s see what else that guy Paul expects of Bishops.
Husband of one wife? Oh, unquestionably. This is what I meant when I said that all of Paul’s instructions may not be relevant today. In his time, polygamy might have been prevalent. That said, it is true that some times when we travel outstation alone and stay in guest houses or hotels, the local bodies throw temptations at us, but that’s it.
Vigilant ? You bet. We have our eyes and ears open all the time for any matter concerning the church. We know every inch of church estate, all the teachers and staff ….their needs …..well we have to keep ourselves informed you know, so we can play our cards right when the time comes.
Sober? Of course we are, except when our office demands a bit of socialization of the spiritual kind.
Good behaviour: This is not fair. How do you think we got here in the first place?
Given to hospitality? Please address that question to Bishop அம்மா.
Apt to teach? Are you doubting our ability? I get the feeling you haven’t had the privilege of listening to our sermons. When you are the Bishop, people pay attention. – Every where we go, the local pastor always has something nice to say about our sermons (he’d better).
Not given to wine: Sure, that is for the novices, right. We have moved on. Scotch Whisky is our poison of choice.
No striker: Hey this is below the belt! What do you think we are – wife beaters? More over, let me tell you அம்மா is capable of giving as good as she gets… careful!
Not greedy of filthy lucre: How does filth get into this?
Patient? Yes, barring the times when it is tested by erring pastors and disobedient principals.
Not a brawler: No Sir. We can give Moses a run for his money in the business of meekness (Numbers 12:3)
Not covetous: Well, we have arrived, haven’t we? What is there to covet?
One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity: Just whom do you think you are dealing with, the household of Eli? ( 1 Samuel 2:12-36)
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Very true
Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil: Well, we are no spring chicken. Getting to this office is a long and tortuous process as you no doubt know. With our years of experience, we are well acquainted with all the the schemes of the devil; there isn’t really much left to learn!
Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil: Well we try, but now and then people do write all sorts of things about us, like this http://www.literose.blogspot.com/.
Unfortunately from time to time we are also dragged to court on various accusations of misuse and abuse of power of our office including fraud and forgery ( such as “No Objection Certificate” from Charity Commissioners) , illegal sale of trust property in several places, creating havoc by siphoning of funds by selling. mortgaging and by creating third party interest for huge monetary consideration, unauthorized and illegal dealings of schools, hospitals, technical institutes for our selfish motives and personal gain, subjecting pastors, teachers and other staff to pressure, threat, duress,coercion, compulsion (why some people allege even torture and humiliation), maladministration and various other corrupt activities – in gross violation of our own blue Book of Discipline.
Ah….well the cross you have to bear for doing God’s work!
What is more, we Bishops are even charged with collusion and connivance with each other in order to support our own misdeeds ! What people forget is that this system is going on ever since January 1981 when the Methodist Church in India got separated from the earlier Methodist Church of Southern Asia and started functioning independently. So all that we are doing is following the footsteps of our illustrious predecessors in office.
Well if you want to know something about the kind of court cases we have to endure you might want to check out “https://judahsjottings.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Writ-petition-Lodging-No.-988-of-2021.pdf”
Now, don’t runaway thinking that only we in the Methodist Church have this kind of trials. Our counterparts in the Church of South India are not exempt from suffering either.
For instance, some time ago there was this charge “https://judahsjottings.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Madras-Diocese-Nepotism-matters.pdf” that they had to contend with. If that was not enough just recently they had to endure censure by the high court as you can read in “https://judahsjottings.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Contempt-of-Court-act-1971.pdf“.
It is distressing that there are also some Bible scholars who think that God is really displeased with our conduct. In their view prophet Isaiah is really talking about people like us when he writes (Isaiah 56:10-12) :
10 His watchmen are blind: they are all ignorant, they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; sleeping, lying down, loving to slumber.
11 Yea, they are greedy dogs which can never have enough, and they are shepherds that cannot understand: they all look to their own way, every one for his gain, from his quarter.
12 Come ye, say they, I will fetch wine, and we will fill ourselves with strong drink; and to morrow shall be as this day, and much more abundant.
Well, you be the judge
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