“Who is next ?” asked the Voice.
I must confess the timbre of the voice I heard was more like Psalm 29 rather than 1 Kings 19:12. The problem I guess was with me/ us. We – the Quartette – were looking for a tenor:
(listen from 2:07)
whereas the Lord was like the Lion of Judah. Lions, as every one knows, prefer the pastures of the lower octaves rather than cross the high Cs.
But that’s an early digression. Sorry. Back to the story.
In walked Ravi Zacharias with a Saville Row suit and a suade leather Bible to boot.
(credit: thegospelcoalition.org)
Striking.
“நீர் தான் ரவி சகரியாஸ் என்பவரோ?”
I was flummoxed. The Ancient of Days knowing an ancient language I guess was a cinch, but I had little idea He comprehended the South Indian movie world – with all its tamasha and masala. And here He was casually opening with a line from கட்டபொம்மன். Of course He was no doubt aware that having been born in Madras – the capital of Tamil Nadu – Ravi could handle it without too much difficulty.
He merely nodded in assent.
God: “Would that be Doctor Zacharias?”
Ravi: “forget the doctor bit Lord”
God: “but it’s all over the place – your books, your website…”
Ravi: “an Indian thing, Lord. Most Christian preachers are doctors there, more or less by default. Have you ever come across a Reverend there without the Doctor following? To be frank, it doesn’t cost much to get an honourary doctorate and it is freely used there with good effect. In fact the politicians there are not far behind Lord……they have a Doctor J, Doctor K, Doctor M and so on.”
God: “Oh, really… let’s move on..May we question you in Quantum Physics? We have Professor John Polkinghorne here. I believe you are acquainted?”
Ravi: “Have mercy upon me, Lord”. “Spare me the Physics, please. I know I used to quite liberally sprinkle the good professor’s name – only in order to impress, Lord”
God: “Well, let me tell you. We are not impressed”
All of a sudden there was a ripple on the other side. And God said (by this time He had seamlessly switched to English) “what’s the matter maidens, do you know this man”? One of the women replied,” he does look familiar Lord, but then we have never seen him suited and booted”.
“Is that so?” God said, warming to the topic: “Ravi, what have you got to say?”
Ravi swallowed: “Well Lord, it is a cultural thing …when you go for a massage”
“What culture? Eastern or Western?” God thundered.
“Lord, you know that I was a bit mixed up” explained Ravi meekly.
“Nice names you gave the Spas, Touch of Eden and Jeevan Wellness, but Ravi, am I to understand that you actually invested in them – put in something like $50,000/- ? It is quite amazing that you found the time and inclination to do something like when you were busy criss-crossing the globe on my behalf?”, God went on.
“My poor back”, mumbled Ravi.
“Understood, what’s the problem with the front?”, God asked.
“Let me tell you Lord” a hand went up.
“Yes, Lori Anne, what’s your story?” asked God.
One look from Ravi and Lori was suddenly subdued. “I am sorry Lord, I forgot about the NDA”.
“What NDA?” persevered God.
“This is an Open Forum”
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